Beneath the Breakdown: The Sacred Spiral of Falling Apart and Rising Again
Have you experienced it yet? That situation or circumstance in life that absolutely breaks you to your core? If not, consider yourself one of the lucky few who’ve somehow managed to elude it up to this point. For most of us, however, it’s not unfamiliar territory. Countless scenarios can play the role of the antagonist: the insurmountable diagnosis, a lover who decides to clean-slate life—including you, a lifelong dream denied, the tragic and unexpected passing of a beloved friend or family member, or perhaps failed finances has taken its toll, costing you far too much in what feels like a less-than-abundant season of life.
I could go on and on, but you get the point. These are surreal, heart-crushing experiences that knock the breath right out of you, bringing you to your knees…requiring the highest levels of coping tactics just to regain some semblance of self and reality. "Heart-crushing" actually feels pretty mild now that I think about it.
And let’s be honest—if given the choice in these less than desirable circumstances, most folks would opt for Plan B: the "let's not go down this path, shall we” option. In a moment of total transparency, I don’t mind admitting that there have been several moments in my life where I clung to that very thought as tightly to my little heart as I could.
But…I also can’t be the only one left wondering if Plan B is truly that appealing after all. I mean, it’s a tempting thought, no doubt—to rewind time and bypass these catastrophes altogether. Avoid the pain, the chaos, the frustration, the life changes.
But considering what awaits on the other side of it all, I’m actually not so sure I’d be as trigger-happy to press that button as one might assume. I mean, let’s think about it for a second. While it's undeniable that hard times can make you question every facet of yourself and life in general, these are also the moments that offer the greatest opportunity to see who you really are—what decisions and direction will prevail in shaping the essence of who you are.
In the end, we all have to choose which path we prefer. Will it be Door #1: don’t look in the mirror and keep reliving the same habits and patterns on repeat. Or, Door #2: take a deep breath, face yourself with a big, courageous look in the mirror, and decide to transcend the old system and expand into higher levels of awareness.
Don’t worry—there will always be new mirrors on the path. And yes, you will revisit those same old stories time and time again in different forms (this one absolutely makes me want to bang my head against the wall some days). That’s just par for the course, though, in this game we call life. The difference is: are you leveling up with each new reflection? Is the mirror so predictable that you already have your Windex ready, or are you meeting new versions of challenge that push you into greater expansion?
Sounds easy enough, right? Put on your battle gear and charge forward. But the million-dollar question is: what sword will you wield? Will you let the ego lead, giving your mind free agency to rationalize your way out of the war zone? Or will you surrender to the soul's broader perspective—breaking constructs and ultimately, laying old habits to rest?
Perhaps, it would help to have an example before you make a final decision…
In my personal experiences, others have always commented on how "strong and resilient" I am, how gracefully I move through heartbreak. Fact is, they don’t see the bad days…the days where I put a sad song on repeat and literally cry it out for hours because that’s what my system is calling for in order to release. Or the moments when I temporarily drown out the heaviness with alcohol, comfort food, or whatever else numbs the ache for a little while. The hour-long salt baths (ok, hour-and-a-half). The Netflix binges. The sleep. You feeling my authenticity, folks?
It's not that I don't feel. You can’t heal by robotically bypassing your feelings. In fact, feeling it all is one of the most integral parts of the human experience…it’s literally why we came here to experience this crazy ride.
The hard truth is: you MUST feel it to heal it. You have to move through it to get to the other side if healing is the ultimate goal. So suit up, amigo. Choose your weapon. And simply put one foot in front of the other, knowing there is no judgment on the other side. Your spirit team sees you. They walk with you every step of the painful way, shining love, light, and wisdom into your darkest moments.
The truth is, they already know how it ends—and that you, my friend, are the victor.
They’ll be there even when you can't feel them. Even when the loneliness is so overwhelming it makes you question the meaning of your very existence.
So if you need to cry, cry. Wanna throw a week-long pity party? Hey—I’ll bring the wine. FEEL IT ALL…however you need to. Then, release. Start small or go big—it doesn’t matter, as long as you're moving toward healing. For everything you release creates space for all that you inherently are and will be.
In closing, my humble advice: be open to finding the higher perspective. The view's not so bad. In fact, it's pretty damn beautiful. It includes seeing yourself in ALL of your wholeness—the broken turned strong and resilient…the hardened, softened by letting go, impatience and frustration tamed by grace. The true essence of who you really are…a spark of divine expression in form.
